Is Your World Baby Friendly Or Not?

Happy World

Your view of the world acts as a filter through which all information is sifted and sorted.  So any time you read a paper or blog, watch TV, listen to friends or receive any information from outside of yourself, you sift and store that information through the filter of your view of the world.  And not only that, your brain is programmed to ensure that you’ll attract information which reinforces this view of the world!

So, what kind of world do you live in?

Is your world one of abundance and joy, where setbacks and challenges are just little bumps in the road, where the future is a bright beacon full of promise and the past is full of wonderful memories.  Do you know lots of women your age who have got pregnant and you just need to wait your turn?  Is your glass half-full?

Or is your glass half-empty?  Do you live in a world of scarcity and struggle, where setbacks and challenges are huge barriers to be attacked and overcome, where the future is dark and uncertain and full of anxiety menace and peril, and your past has a negative influence on you today still?  Do you hear everywhere and from everyone that eggs are limited, that the older you are the less likelihood you have of getting pregnant, do you know lots of women in your situation who are struggling to get pregnant?  Is your glass half-empty?

I’d invite you to consider how, making your view of the world more positive, may make your experience in the world a whole lot more fun, effortless and optimistic.  Even if you are already pretty optimistic, can you become more so?  And if you’re not at all optimistic, might you not be doing yourself an extreme kindness to change that view, even a little?

What if, you lived in a totally positive, optimistic world, where all your dreams and desires came true?  That belief in itself would be a great de-stresser and would allow you to hold a relaxed, positive and healthier state of mind and body – and that relaxed state of mind and body will help you optimise your chances of getting pregnant.

Stress creates an unhelpful internal physical environment which can reduce immune response and upset the hormone balance.

Your mind and body are not separate entities, they work together, so if you are constantly thinking that: “you’ll never get pregnant”; “everyone else is getting pregnant but you”; “you’re too old”; etc, etc, etc, then it’s hardly surprising if your body obliges by giving you what you expect.  On the other hand, if you’re positive and have a high expectation that you will get pregnant, your body may well oblige you with what you expect!

I know which way of being I’d choose, what about you?

If you want to get from a glass half-empty to one that’s nearly full, sign up to the FREE Baby Making Mindset Facebook Group for tips and hints that will help you improve your baby making mindset.  You’ll find us at



Getting Pregnant – Impossible Or Just A Speed Bump?

TTC impossible or just a speed bump

TTC – impossible or just a speed bump?

If you’re feeling that you’ll never get pregnant and time is fast running out, you may be thinking that getting pregnant is going to be impossible. But is it, or is what you’re experiencing now, just a bump in the road?  Can you negotiate the bumps in the road and avoid destination impossible?

Firstly, “impossible” is usually a moveable goal: breaking the 4 minute mile barrier; going to the moon; IVF; heart transplants; the list goes on.  You can often find ways to improve your chances of getting pregnant so that what once seemed impossible might now not be.

Secondly, “impossible” is often a state of mind.  When Roger Bannister broke the 4 minute mile, conditions were not in his favour.  Doctors had said it was physically impossible and on the day the wind was against him.  He could have quit, or put it off to another day or settled for second best with a time of just under 4 minutes.  But he didn’t.  He stuck to his plan, kept his resolve and went out and did what he needed to do.  And afterwards runner after runner broken the 4 minute mile.

Thirdly, “impossible” gets more embedded with stress.  Allowing the bumps in the road to dominate your thinking causes you to focus on what’s wrong (what you don’t want) , rather than what you do want.  Stress creates a ‘can’t do’, rather than a ‘can do’ mindset.  So keep it light, roll with the punches and relax into the flow of life.

I’ve said it before: how you think affects how you feel, and how you feel affects your physical condition.  You will be helping your chances of getting pregnant if you’re optimistic, relaxed and have a healthy balance in your life.

If you want to discover more ways to stay sane and positive when your TTC,  join the Baby Making Mindset Club today, it’s just £1.

Are You The Only Person In The World Who Isn’t Getting Pregnant?

Baby Making MindsetHave you noticed that the longer you’ve been trying to get pregnant, the more the people there are around you who are getting pregnant?  Until, suddenly, you’re surrounded by friends and family, just about all of whom are expecting.

And, have you wondered – screamed from the rooftops even – “Why not me?”  Why, when you’re trying so hard, should everyone else be getting pregnant?  Why is it that you can’t walk down the street without noticing how many women are pregnant?

Have you ever felt like that?

Does it cause you to feel depressed, alone, isolated?  Do you feel that life is treating you unfairly?  Do you wonder if you’ll ever get pregnant?

Well, have you considered that you’re attracting all that pregnant energy?  And it may be that it’s you who’s next in line.   After all, if you’re drawing all that pregnant energy towards you, it may just need a little re-direction to find you next.

Here are three ways to attract that pregnant energy to YOU:

  1. Be grateful for what you’ve got.  Take some time out every day to be grateful for what you have – and write it down.  Gratitude helps you to feel blessed and abundant, rather than blighted and anxious.  And the more grateful you are the more blessed and abundant you will feel and you will then begin to draw that into your life.  Oh, I know, it all sounds really New Age, but counting your blessings has been used for thousands of years to restore flagging spirits (check out any Bible).  Just give it a try and see how you feel, if it’s not resonating with you then you can stop, but you’ll never know how well it might work unless you give it a shot.
  2. Get ready to receive.  How much joy can you take in your life – a bucket full or a thimble full?  If you want to know how ready you are to receive, just close your eyes and imagine yourself in a stadium with 10,000 people.  There’s a thrum of voices as those 10,000 people chat.  You walk to the centre of the stage and look out at the audience and you stand there until the noise abates and there’s absolute silence.  You introduce yourself – “Hello, my name is ……..” and wait.  The audience begin to applaud.  They’re applauding you, not for any reason, not for anything you’ve done, but just because you’re you.  The applause increases in volume and the audience begin to rise from their seat.  You’re getting a standing ovation from 10,000 people just for being you.  The applause continues ………. and continues ………………. and continues……….. 1 minute ……… 2 minutes …………. 3 minutes ……………… 4 minutes ………….. 5 minutes.You’ve being given a standing ovation for 5 minutes.  How does that feel?  Do you get uncomfortable just standing on stage?  How quickly do you want to leave the stage after the applause begins?  How much recognition and joy are you ready to receive?
  3. Absorb the baby making energy.   If you feel surrounded by pregnant women, draw that pregnant energy towards yourself.Imagine yourself in the centre of a circle of pregnant women.  Notice the glow that seems to emanate from them.  What colour is it?  Is it dense or light, warm or cool?  Now see yourself surrounded by that pregnant glow.  Feel yourself protected and safe within this pregnant glow.  And notice how the glow of pregnant energy begins to move towards you from all directions until it encompasses your whole body.  How do you feel being cloaked in this pregnant energy?  What emotions are present?  Are there any feelings of discomfort or discord?  If there are, turn your attention towards those and allow them time and space.  Hold your attention on them, without trying to change them or making any judgement of them until you notice them dissipate and disappear gently and totally.  Now how do you feel?  Thank the pregnant women who encircle you and allow them to fade away, leaving you surrounded by their pregnant glow.  Now draw that pregnant glow towards you until it forms a cocoon around you.  This cocoon of pregnant energy around you will act as a magnet for pregnant energy, directing all future pregnant energy towards you.

Give these three techniques a try and tell me how you get on.

Boost Your Chances Of Getting Pregnant

Impove Your Chances

If you’re trying for a baby, you’ve probably taken some steps to improve your chances, but can you do more?

Most couples do some internet research, although too much information – especially if it’s conflicting – can be as much a blessing as a curse.  Books have similar advantages and disadvantages.

Complementary therapies are popular – especially Reflexology and Accupuncture – and some couples are very keen to follow a strict nutritional regime, in an attempt to create the best physical environment for conception.

Nutritional supplements are also very popular, but which ones and how do you know they’re right for you?  It can all be very confusing.

Ovulation kits can be very helpful, because women’s cycles can vary, so it’s useful to eliminate the guesswork – as long as it doesn’t all become a bit obsessive.

The one thing that most couple’s probably don’t do is focus on their state of mind.

Unexplained infertility can be a very upsetting condition, especially if the woman is over 35.  As time goes on, and nothing happens, the ticking of the clock seems to get louder and louder.  The emotional highs and lows of hope and disappointment every month can become very stressful.  And stress is not a helpful physical en
vironment for conception: it can knock hormones out of balance and deplete the immune system.

Managing your mental and emotional state will have a knock-on effect on boosting your physical state.  Also, getting pregnant happens unconsciously, so it’s important to make sure your thoughts and actions support your desire to get pregnant.

Is there any part of you that’s nervous about having a baby?  Are you positive or doubtful about your ability to conceive?  Is there room in your life and your home for a baby – if work and social life take up your every moment, and if the spare room is full of junk, you may want to consider what message that’s sending to your unconscious mind.

Keeping a positive outlook may be easier said than done, but it is possible, and not only will it make the journey to getting pregnant much more bearable, but it might even improve your chances of getting pregnant.

So, when you’re considering all the things you might do to improve your chances of getting pregnant, don’t forget to manage your mindset.

Do You Have A Fertility Plan B (And C)

I’ve spoken in thePlan, A,B,C past about the power of the mind to change your reality, the big question is HOW do you do it.

Strategies such as: focusing on results; insisting on an outcome; being determined that you won’t stop until you reach your goal; and being very specific in what you want, can all help immeasurably to lead you towards your goal.

But sometimes we try too hard!  And we can want something so much, that we get in the way of our own natural process.  If we are following the natural process it should feel light, easy, flowing and effortless.  We need to be detached from our outcome to allow it to manifest easily and effortlessly.

The moment we try too hard, the extra effort we expend, stops the flow of effortless energy and manifestation.  It’s a bit like the racing driver, who wants a quick start, and puts too much power on the accelerator and ends up spinning the wheels and going nowhere.

So, how do you avoid trying too hard, having too much focus, being too determined and ending up just being obsessed?

Well you might want to look at having a Plan B (and C).

It may seem that having a Plan B and C, will undermine that sense of determination, insistence, focus.  To some extent that may be true, but it will also give you a much more relaxed attitude and the proper degree of detachment from your Plan A.  Having a Plan B and C is much more a reflection of life.  We don’t run our life on a straight line (or most of us don’t).  We respond to the vagaries that life throws before us, we review opportunities when they arise, and take them if they lead in the direction we favour.

Why have a Plan B and a Plan C?  Why 2 alternative plans?  The answer to that is simple: if you have only one plan you give yourself no choice; two plans give you a dilemma (and that creates tension); but three options gives you real choice.

So, I’d invite you to sit down today – together, and work out your Plan B and Plan C.  And turn them into futures that you can really embrace and commit to.  They want to excite your imagination and passion and lead you to a life that will be fulfilling.  And your plans need to address the elephant in the room – what if you don’t get pregnant?  Will you look at alternative family building avenues?  How will you live a full and useful life?

All your plans – A, B and C – want to be written down, and fairly detailed about WHAT you want and WHY you want it (how you get it is not as important).  If you’ve not already done this with your Plan A, do it now and then follow on with Plan B and C.  Then store them all away somewhere and forget about Plan B and C.

You can then turn your attention to manifesting your Plan A in the knowledge that you’ve created real choice for yourself while at the same time creating the detachment which is so important if you want to manifest your dreams.

So, go get that pen and paper now and start planning.

Do Good Intentions Get You Down?

Do Good Intentions Get You Down?

Does helpful advice make things worse?

You’ve hit a bad patch: maybe you’ve had some bad news that makes you feel you’ll never get pregnant.  Or you’ve just run out of energy to be hopeful.  Does it drive you mad that the people who care for you most are trying, with the best of intentions, to be hopeful for you and to cheer you up?

You know that they want the best for you, but why can’t they just recognise your pain and be with you in that pain, instead of wanting to fix the situation?

Well you probably know that already.  It’s painful to watch another person suffer and not be able to do anything to make the pain better.  So your pain, is their pain.  And all the cheering comments and encouragement to look on the bright side are designed to lessen the pain – for you and for them.

And it’s not quite like a bereavement, where outsiders can identify with and share the loss: where there’s a sense of communal pain.  This is your pain.  And parents, by definition, won’t really know what you’re going through (unless of course, they’ve gone through it themselves).

It may drive you mad to listen to all the platitudes, but if you are able, cut them some slack – they’re doing their best, just as you are.  It’s hard to sit with someone in distress and just be there for them: the temptation to try and fix things can be overwhelming.

And sometimes their words may make things a bit better for you.

But you may also choose to explain that you only need a sympathetic ear and that you don’t expect them to make you feel better, that you need time to process and work through the pain before you can get to a point of feeling better.

And perhaps, you may also recognise that your anger and frustration reflect how you feel about your situation, as well as how you feel about other people’s responses.

It’s hardly fair, but one of the challenges of the situation you find yourself in, it to manage the people around you as well as to manage your own responses to your circumstances.  It’s not fair at all, is it?

Healthy, Happy And Pregnant – Just Imagine!

Happy, Healthy and Pregnant - Just Imagine

Happy, Healthy and Pregnant – Just Imagine

If you’re worried that there is a physical problem that’s preventing you from conceiving, it’s understandable that positive thinking and visualisation might seem like a waste of time, but if the following exercise works for you, you may just change your mind.

Anything and everything we say about the future if a big, fat lie.  The future doesn’t exist yet, so we can’t know what will happen until it actually happens.  We may know the most likely outcome, but it’s not a fact until it actually comes about, and so there’s always some level of uncertainty.

Now, we tell ourselves big fat lies about the future, all the time – it’s natural.  We create scenarios about what we think might happen, and more often than not, those scenarios that we have imagined become the reality.

What photo albums, slideshows or movies are you creating about your future?

After all, if the future doesn’t exist, and everything you project into the future is a lie, you might as well tell big, fat, helpful lies, that anticipate what you want.  All too often, we tell big, fat lies that are the opposite of what we actually want.  But life will be much more comfortable if you’re imagining a future in which you get everything you want.

Why not sit down right now, this very minute, and write down a list of what you want over the next year.  Really go for it! It doesn’t matter if you can’t imagine how it might happen – the object of this exercise is just to list your heart’s desires.

Now take a bit more time and get nice and relaxed.  Go into a daydream state and imagine how it would be if you realised each of these dreams.  Take each desire and imagine: how would you feel?  What would you be saying to yourself and others?  What would others be saying to you?  Imagine a picture of you having realised your dream – make the picture bright and closer and then turn the picture into a movie.  Give your movie a soundtrack.  Imagine yourself as the star of the movie, taking part, looking through your own eyes.

Once you’ve done that, sit down with a pen and paper and write a letter to your best friend and supporter – the person who would be most pleased to hear that you had realised your heart’s desires.  Write the letter as if you hadn’t seen them for a year and were telling them all the wonderful things that have happened to you in the past year.

Keep the letter and look it out again in a year and see how much has changed.  Of course, if you’ve read this, but haven’t taken the time and effort to actually DO the exercise, you may not be quite as successful.

WARNING: This exercise may work better than you expect, so make sure you ask for what you really want!

Something to remember when doing this exercise: getting pregnant is only the first step in having a healthy baby, so make sure you envisage not just getting pregnant, but also having a healthy and happy pregnancy within a loving relationship, having a trouble free birth and a strong healthy baby, not to mention staying fit and healthy yourself!

Can Crisps And Cakes Cause Infertility?

various donutsIn 2007 a study* found that, ‘Each 2% increase in the intake of energy from trans unsaturated fats, as opposed to that from carbohydrates, was associated with a 73% greater risk of ovulatory infertility’.  Now, I’m not a scientist, but it seems to me that these are statistics worth taking into consideration if you’re trying to make a baby.

So what are trans fats?  Trans fats are rare in living nature, but common in food production.  They are created when liquid oils are processed into solid fats like hard margarine, or commercial frying fats.  Now you may not use margarine or solid frying fat at home, but trans fats are extensively used in processed foods because they extend shelf life and also because they can be used repeatedly without breaking down.

Why are trans fats bad?  Well I’m not an expert, but from the research I’ve done, it seems that trans fats are likely to: increase bad cholesterol and reduce good cholesterol; promote inflammation and the formation of blood clots; increase blood pressure; and are linked to increased heart disease, obesity and higher incidence of infertility.

Bowl of potato chips isolayed on whiteHealth authorities worldwide recommend the consumption of no more than trace amounts of trans fats daily.

Where might you find trans fats?  They can be found in processed foods and particularly in commercial baked goods (cakes, pies, biscuits, crackers, bread, etc), snack food, margarine, sweets and fast foods.  Just 4 grams a day could affect fertility!  To give you an idea of what that means, a doughnut has around 5grams, a packet of crisps 3 grams, and a portion of french fries 8 grams.

To avoid trans fats in the food you purchase, check the label for hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated fats and shortening.  And beware, you may also want to check your salad dressings and breakfast cereal for trans fats!

Of course, not all fats are bad, so make sure you get your daily dose of omega 3, 6 and 9 fats: substitute your crisps or crackers for flaxseed or walnuts and swap your pies for fish.

And this warning isn’t just for the ladies: trans fats have also been implicated in lower sperm count and quality, as sperm cells can be extremely sensitive to diet and toxins.

But not everyone agrees with this research, Marion Nestle Phd, Professor in the Department of Nutrition, Food Studies and Public Health at New York University is reported to have said, “I am always sceptical when I hear the claim that a particular food or food component has a very large impact on health.”

Given that foods containing trans fats seem to be on the unhealthy list anyway, I’d say it’s sensible to avoid them and go for options containing the healthier omega 3, 6 and 9 fats.  And if you can get the man in your life to give up crisps, crackers, cakes and sweets, even better.

*American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, Jan 2007 ,”Dietary fatty acid intakes and the risk of ovulatory infertility.” Chavarro JE, Rich-Edwards JW, Rosner BA, Willett WC.


Can You THINK Yourself Pregnant?

human thinkingIf you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while (even a short while), you may find your emotional state is all over the place ……

  • swinging from hope to disappointment every month
  • impatient and wondering if it’s ever going to happen for you
  • jealous as you see other – perhaps less deserving women – get pregnant easily … by accident even!
  • isolated from friends and family if you’re not wanting everyone to know that you’re trying for a baby
  • frustrated as all you seem to notice now is mums with children and women with HUGE pregnant bumps (looking happy and radiant).

Emotionally you will probably have visited all of the above and more, much, much more.

And have you noticed that they’re all NEGATIVE emotions.  And holding these negative emotional states will put you into a negative state of mind.  And if you’re holding a negative state of mind, you’re body is likely to be listening.

Getting pregnant happens unconsciously, which means you have to harness the power of your mind at a deep, unconscious, level.

Wanting, hoping, deciding to get pregnant are states of the conscious mind.  Knowingness and certainty (especially in the face of evidence to the contrary) are states of the unconscious.

Your unconscious mind runs your body, so harnessing the power of your unconscious mind is vital if you want your body to do anything.

Knowing and expecting that you’re going to get pregnant somehow, some day, is a much more powerful state than hoping you’ll get pregnant.

There’s lots of anecdotal evidence of women trying to get pregnant then, as soon as they:

  • go on holiday
  • adopt a child
  • focus on a career move, new house, special project
  • stop trying and resign themselves to the fact it’s not going to happen,

they get pregnant!

Your thinking may not actually cause you to get pregnant, rather, it’s more likely that it can lower your chances of getting pregnant.  Wanting and needing are disempowering states of mind and often cause you to focus on what you DON’T want, causing you to attract more of what you don’t want, rather than what you do want.  So, make sure you harness the power of your unconscious mind to support what you want, rather than what you don’t want.

And how do you do that?  Well it may be a slightly different process for each individual, but there will be certain common features: learn to relax and visualise; remove any mental and emotional barriers to getting pregnant; make sure your belief system supports your desire to get pregnant; and focus on what you want, rather than what you don’t want.

Having your mind and body working together in harmony to support your efforts to get pregnant, will not only make the journey much more pleasant, but it may actually make your results more effective.

So, to answer the question, “Can you think yourself pregnant?”, the honest answer is, nobody really knows.  All the negative emotions associated with TRYING to get pregnant can certainly be stressful and that stress may have a significant impact on your hormones, creating imbalances which may contribute to reduced fertility.  Having a positive mindset will make the journey more bearable and you never know, it might help you get pregnant sooner.


Is Trying To Get Pregnant The Most Stressful Thing You’ve Ever Done?

Reducing stress

If you’re answer to that question is a resounding: “yes”, then you may be shooting yourself in the foot!

The more stressed you are the less likely it is that your body will be in a receptive state for conception.  And yes, trying for a baby is an emotional roller coaster, but there are things you can do to even out the peaks and troughs.

Stress is a very pervasive condition: it affects all of us – mind, body, emotions and behaviour.  It can have a very detrimental effect on the body – and hormones can be especially sensitive to stress chemicals.  If we’re stressed we don’t think clearly and we can be impatient, short-tempered and over-emotional – not good for the people around us!

Here are 7 tips to reduce your stress levels and improve your chances of getting pregnant:

  1. Relax – listen to a relaxation CD, this will put your mind and body into a neutral state and allow you to release tension and re-balance your hormones (and it feels great).
  2. Breathe – take long slow breaths and you will get relaxed very quickly.  This helps re-oxygenate the blood and gives the body a boost at a cellular level.
  3. Live in the moment – don’t think too far ahead and enjoy the now and your tension will just peel away.  Thinking about what could have been or what might be can create stress and (negative thoughts about the past or the future) can be disempowering.
  4. Be grateful – every day, think of 5 things that you are grateful for – it will help you keep things in perspective.
  5. Know what you want from the future, but don’t get too attached to it.  Detachment is one of the universal principles of getting what you want.  If you hold on too tightly to your dreams and desires, you choke the life from them.
  6. Go for a treatment – book a relaxing treatment of reflexology, massage, or whatever you fancy.  Treat yourself and let someone else take the responsibility for getting you relaxed, it’s bliss.
  7. Have a Plan B – decide what your life will be like if you don’t get pregnant.  You don’t need to plan in too much detail, but do have an acceptable alternative in place.  You’ll find that having a Plan B will take the pressure off and let you can allow yourself to be more relaxed than if you put all your eggs in one basket.  (Pardon the pun!)

The less stress you put yourself under, the better chance you give yourself of getting pregnant and the more comfortable the process will be for you.

Give some of these tips a try and let me know how you get on.