I’m totally fascinated with the psychology of conception and the answer to questions such as: How much does your thinking affect the intensity of your emotional journey to motherhood? Or, can your thinking make you be more or less likely to become pregnant?
Getting pregnant is a function of the unconscious mind. No matter how much you would like it to be so, you have no conscious control over the matter. One of the jobs of the unconscious mind is to run our body: monitoring a myriad of functions and making adjustments to keep our bodies functioning efficiently. But our conscious mind can have an effect on this – conscious choices on what we eat and drink, the type of exercise we take; choices about how we respond to the world around us which may increase or reduce our stress levels; our choice of belief system which support a positive or negative outlook, can all impact on the efficiency of the body.
Getting our unconscious mind to respond to our conscious will, is the knack which can create “miracles” in all areas of our life. But how?
Trying for a baby can be an emotional roller-coaster: fear; hope; disappointment; stress; jealousy; self-criticism; and a whole myriad of other emotions come into play. And these emotions will have an impact on both mind and body. Mental well-being can be affected (stress and depression) as well as physical well-being (endocrine system).
In terms of the psychology of conception – the way we respond to our fertility challenges – there are a number of elements which come into play.
Our beliefs act as a filter for our reality: if we don’t believe something is possible, it’s very unlikely we will experience it. An example of this would be a person with a poverty belief (I’ll never be rich), who wins the lottery, but very quickly ends up broke. Someone who believes that she will get pregnant, regardless of time, medical history or any other factors, is more likely to get pregnant because her helpful belief supports a stress-free and positive state of mind and body.
Expecting a positive outcome is important. And a positive expectation must ignore any negative experiences from the past – the past is NOT a predictor of the future. (Of course, please feel free to project any positive experiences from the past into the future).
It’s very important that every atom of you is behind the belief and expectation. No BUTs are allowed! Oftentimes when we desire something big and seemingly unachievable a part of us holds back – we don’t REALLY think we can; we want to protect ourselves against disappointment; etc, etc. Every part of you needs to be heading towards the desired objective. Achieving congruence can often be a process of chipping away at any barriers that may arise, but once congruence is achieved, the sky’s the limit.
Once belief, expectation and congruence have reached 100%, it creates certainty. You know that feeling that something is going to happen – you don’t know how, or when, you just KNOW it will happen. Certainty is a feeling. It’s the feeling that tells you that your conscious and unconscious minds are working in harmony. The feeling of certainty that something will come into being allows you to hold onto your belief, expectation and congruence, regardless of what other people say or what seems to be true. And it helps to create a stress free situation in which there is no resistance or self-imposed pressure: it creates a state of being in a flow – a state in which all things may be possible.
Having a positive Baby Making Mindset may help you get pregnant, but it will certainly ease the suffering of your fertility journey.